Shopping with a relative: how to support their choices

Ask what part is difficult

Is the problem getting to a supermarket, carrying heavy bags, unpacking groceries or finding time? That answer helps distinguish accompanied shopping from having a list collected or an order delivered.

Let your parent set preferences

Ask which shops, products and brands matter. If someone accompanies them, the aim can be to make the outing easier rather than decide what they should purchase. If a list is collected, agree substitutions.

Clarify travel and costs

Do not assume a helper can provide a lift. Discuss the journey, accessibility, transport insurance where relevant, duration, grocery payments, receipts and the service charge before making arrangements.

Sharing information

An adult child may pay or help organise the outing, but updates about the parent and their purchases should be agreed with the person receiving support. Avoid passing banking credentials or security details to an enquiry form.

A family-friendly first step

Start with the postcode, the type of shopping support your parent would welcome and how they want to be involved. See help for families or shopping together.

Try asking a more specific question

Instead of saying “Do you need help shopping?”, ask “Would you enjoy somebody coming with you to the supermarket, or would you rather someone brought the heavy things home?” This makes it easier to discuss the actual difficulty and gives a real choice. It can also avoid a disagreement about whether the person is still capable of shopping independently.

Agree how much involvement the family should have

Some parents prefer to deal directly with the helper. Others may want a relative to handle the booking or payment. Discuss that openly and decide how purchases, receipts and any visit information are shared. Where travel in a vehicle is being discussed, ask about accessibility, the travel arrangement and appropriate insurance before assuming the trip can go ahead.